School Today And Why I’m Afraid

A school environment is supposed to be a fun, safe, and caring place of learning.  As a parent, I’m left here wondering what has become of our schools.  What has happened to our children?  Parenting and lack there of, mental illness, and accessibility are changing our world.  Certainly not for the better.  We all deserve better!

This week was a big one in our house. I had to register my first baby for kindergarten.  I have all the feels about this. However this post is going to explain why I’m scared as hell!

Going way back to the day I was going to hear my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.  

This was our second visit. The week prior, we weren’t able to hear a heartbeat yet because it just hadn’t developed. Which is totally normal when it’s very early on, nerve wracking, but normal. So we made an appointment for one week later to check again. 

Our appointment was one of the first that morning.  During the appointment we were able to take a huge sigh of relief. There is was, blinking like crazy on the monitor a strong and healthy heartbeat.  Tears of joy!

Then the appointment was over. Driving home, my husband and I had the radio on and we caught a clip of news that was happening about an 90 minutes away from us.  The news of the Sandy Hook School shooting was just hitting the air.  In the exact moment we were getting the most amazing news, other moms and dads were getting the most unimaginable, devastating and heartbreaking news of their lives.

 I was heartbroken too.

These were 6 and 7 year old babies. The most innocent, precious babies.  I immediately started thinking about what an awful world I’m bringing my first baby into.  My heart was breaking for the Sandy Hook community and I couldn’t fathom the devastation of every member of that community. 

Then fast forward just a bit to my 18-20 ultrasound visit. 

The moment we would find out if I were having a boy or girl.  I was so excited for this appointment.  I knew I was having a girl.  Well I was completely wrong on that.  The ultrasound technician announced “it’s a BOY!”  As we left that appointment, more breaking news.  The Boston Marathon had just experienced an explosion near the finish line.  As we know, an act of terrorism had taken place.  Again more lives lost and many changed forever.  

What kind of world am I bringing my sweet baby boy into?

As we all know all of the headlines that we hear, see and experience will fade a little over time.  So on to my pregnancy and living life.  I delivered Travis on a hot summers day.  He was perfect despite being a little early.  Weighing in at 6 lbs 1 oz.  He was strong, healthy and a gorgeous baby, if I do say so myself.

Now nearly five years later I filled out the mountain of paperwork to register Travis for school.  This past Tuesday night I officially registered Travis for kindergarten.  However I have an enormous amount of mixed feelings.  While the headlines seem to be always speaking of a new tragedy, I can’t help nut want to shelter my little guy from all of it!  Earlier that day, yet another school shooting.  A school shooting which has killed more of our children in what is supposed to be a safe place. 

How can we make school a safe place again?

schoolI realize we are all more likely to get injured in a car accident or crossing the street but knowingly sending my baby into a school is now a very difficult decision.   Unfortunately I’m living in a bit of fear, who isn’t?  While officials are trying to figure out how to change this ever growing problem, I’m not hearing any options that are making me feel more at ease.  Clear backpacks, metal detectors, only one entrance, pat downs, more armed security, although these are tiny improvements, none of them  make me feel better.  Explaining all of these things to a child and then just sending them off and hoping for the best…  Really?  This isn’t making me feel good.  It’s actually heart wrenching, disturbing and making me sick to my stomach. 

What are we supposed to do? 

Home School?   I, like most parents are probably not experienced enough to know how to teach.  If I had a lot of money I would probably hire a private teacher to come and teach my kids, but I don’t.  

As parents, really, what do we do?  I’m struggling with being excited as my little guy begins this new milestone.  I don’t have the answers or solutions, but something needs to change in our society to stop this!  

How am I supposed to be happy sending my sweet boy into this scary world?


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