Penis Drama

Gasp!!!!  Did she just say “PENIS ?”  Yes, yes I did. 

As a boy-mom there aren’t many days that go by that there isn’t some kind penis drama.  Since I do not have any daughters, I can not speak to how life is with girls.  However, I will give you the inside scoop about how life with all boys is.  This post will be all about the “pee pees” and the “privates.” 

My boys love to be naked (at home).  If it were up to them they probably would always walk around in their birthday suits.  This drives my husband crazy!  It doesn’t really phase me but has certainly given me some great stories for this post.  My husband will see them naked and tell them with an annoyed tone, to “go get some clothes on!”  My feeling is this just brings more attention to it and two things can happen. 1) They know it drives him crazy so they will want to do it more to be funny.  Or 2) They might start to feel self conscious about being naked.  Either way, I have a different approach.

I allow them to do what makes them comfortable in the moment and from that here is what I have learned so far:

Full of questions

Starting at the very young age of three, a boy already thinks his brain is in his penis (which we call privates right now).  One of my boys actually looked down, was squishing his privates and asked me if that is where his brain was.  Now like most of these stories I nearly died laughing.   I thought this started about age 14, obviously not.

 

Boys can be amused by the simplest things.  For example, it is “amazing” when their “pee pee gets soooo big!”  Yes boys, that is just simply amazing.


I have learned that your brother’s body can be pretty interesting.  While changing both boys into bathing suits to go swimming one brother had questions.  “So mom, that’s him bum, are his privates in the front?”  Yes they are.  “Can I see his?”  Look at your own, they are the same.  “But mine are all droopy.”  “Are his all droopy too?”  Okay lets go, time to go swimming!

Drama

One of my boys had a very bewildered look on his face one day.  I asked him what was going on.  He replied “I have a ball in me.”  A ball?  “Yes look a ball is in there.”  He seemed surprised yet extremely proud he got a ball inside him.  Later in the week he told my husband the same thing.  My husband says, “buddy feel around you have two!”  After about 2 full minutes his face lit up like a Christmas tree.  His mind was blown!

penis drama

The boys LOVE stickers!  They learned the hard way stickers are not your pee pee’s friend.  After being all proud of putting the Paw Patrol pup stickers all over their penis’, then came the removal part.  There were lots of tears.

Teaching lessons about the penis:

I have tried to explain as calmly as I can that it is NOT appropriate to pull your pants half down in your car seat while in the car just to see what your pee pee is up to (no pun intended).  All I can think of is some sick person or a 90 year old woman driving by and seeing that.  We are still working on this!

We are still also working on not peeing just anywhere you feel the urge.  Seriously they could do this anywhere and not even think twice.

real life mama drama

2 Comments

  1. Pam Frost

    September 24, 2018 at 10:07 pm

    Beth I swear your stories are the funniest every!!!! Those boys are great!

  2. Jodi

    September 24, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    I love the truth and laughs! Thank you 🤣😂

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